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My Thoughts about Australians

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by SSSoupy, May 31, 2019.

?

Should Australians have their teeth filed to prevent a zombie outbreak?

  1. No

  2. No but we should instead steal their toes

Multiple votes are allowed.
Results are only viewable after voting.
  1. SSSoupy

    SSSoupy Member

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    Australians, pretty weird right? there are a number of things that I don't like about them (like the fact that they have eyes) and some things I'm indifferent about (like their bank accounts).

    First off, the media depiction of them is skewed and heavily biased, watching any commercial or movie at all, they make it seem like every other bloke you meet on the street is an Australian. However, lets look at the facts, Australians make up about 96.78% of the United States population, and 163% of the worldwide population. According to these numbers, the odds of you meeting an Australian is about 8, whereas the likelihood of growing a pineapple is a much more reasonable 3. But enough about their representation, I don't exactly care much about that, my second point has to do with their existence.

    It is no surprise that I take great issue with the existence of Australians/Australia, obviously this is due to their location on the globe, and thus disproving the round earth theory. "But SSSoupy, thats not a thing you can take issue with" I hear you say, well first off, you're wrong, and second off, you're not just wrong you're stupid. The reason I take such great issue with this is that I happen to greatly enjoy the Round Earth Theory, however, since Australia disproves it I can't talk about this theory in public without being called a Ball-Earther and being ridiculed.

    My third and final perplexity of Australia is their vastly varied military strength. I mean, the frickers took down Hitler II Electric Boogaloo The XVII and ended WWXI only three weeks after it started, but cannot even manage to take down some big birds with weird names. Building upon this is the fact that there does not exist a single Australian that has not been birdswaggled as a child by an Emu, and as such, the whole population has been compromised and is practically birds. Don't believe me? have you ever seen an Australian speak? It's incredibly weird to witness, but there is a complicated secret behind it. If you manage to get close to an Aussie and record some of their speak, then you can play it backwards after changing the font to italics to get a screech that sounds suspiciously Emuish.

    My closing sentiments

    My friends, always be mindful of those who may be suffering from Australia or may have family suffering from an Australian. Please remember that catching Aussie is something that can happen to literally anyone so you should never be too quick to judge anyone for a small case of updown pox. What is the "Aussie" or the "Australia" you ask? Well, I'm glad you posed that question. The Aussie pox (scientifically referred to as Australian) is a rarer disease which can easily turn the victims life upside down. Some common symptoms are a neat accent, saying things like "crikey" and "mate" or "cooking things on the barbie", an affinity for deadly beasts and or death defying stunts, and a desire for being australian.

    I don't want to call anyone out, but I would like to say that I suspect a staff member (I won't say who out of principle ofc) has been diagnosed with Aussie and while I don't want to point fingers around here, I do believe that Beetley has contracted a large case of the Australian and I wish him godspeed in his recovery, but I am saddened by the fact that the Aussie disease is a terminal illness approximately 139% of the time.
     
    #1
  2. maximillian12

    maximillian12 Developer

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    That... was... amazing... I suggest that we lock this thread and pin it to preserver its sanctity.
     
    #2
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  3. JBentley694

    JBentley694 Builder

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    Perfect
     
    #3
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  4. BryceBAM

    BryceBAM Member

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    as an asutralian im ofeended. please delete this
     
    #4
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  5. SSSoupy

    SSSoupy Member

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    Hi ofeended, I'm dad
     
    #5
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  6. Cat_Squirrel_Inc

    Cat_Squirrel_Inc Member

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    It's An Australian Christmas Bloody Miracle
     
    #6
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  7. _Nards_

    _Nards_ Moderator

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    "Thank you SSSoupy, Very Cool" - Donald Trump
     
    #7
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  8. CravenPython108

    CravenPython108 Member

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    Silly liberal, the earth is shaped like a donut. The glaciers are white frosting, the oceans are glaze, and Australia is a part where some space cowboy took a bite out of it.
     
    #8
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  9. JT900

    JT900 Member

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    Australia is an elaborate hoax.
    Prove me wrong.
     
    #9
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  10. Cat_Squirrel_Inc

    Cat_Squirrel_Inc Member

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    I've been to Australia once.... I couldn't walk for a week ;)
     
    #10
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  11. CravenPython108

    CravenPython108 Member

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    That's because you were falling off the bottom of the space donut
     
    #11
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  12. Cat_Squirrel_Inc

    Cat_Squirrel_Inc Member

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    Nah, got plowed by kangaroos shouting for more shrimp on the barbie
     
    #12
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  13. ThunderDragon3

    ThunderDragon3 Member

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    This doesn't seem like that nice of a topic or fair to Australians. I know a few on this server. @Snakefangs2004
     
    #13
  14. Obscurus

    Obscurus Moderator

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    I will fight u Soups!
     
    #14
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  15. Obscurus

    Obscurus Moderator

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    Wait since when was Snake an Aussie? ooo:
     
    #15
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  16. _Nards_

    _Nards_ Moderator

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    Nah he's trying to get the thread locked.
     
    #16
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  17. ThunderDragon3

    ThunderDragon3 Member

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    I don't know if Snake is Australian. But yeah, a lot of this guy's material is irrelevant. At least prevent any more threads like this completely unrelated to something worth posting about.
     
    #17
  18. JT900

    JT900 Member

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    It's just some fun shitposting in these boring old forums, fren. Enjoy the comedy. Lol
     
    #18
  19. Obscurus

    Obscurus Moderator

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    I'm Australian and I find this thread hilarious. Not harming anyone, just having some bants on the forums ;p
     
    #19
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  20. CravenPython108

    CravenPython108 Member

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    We're generally discussing the place known as Australia, so it fits the category.
     
    #20
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